I heard this strange noise coming from my birds’ cage, I look over and there he is humpin’ on his perch. He was really going to town on that thing but he slowed down his thrusting to a halt, then slowly turned his head to look at me dead in the eye. Now he’s trying to pretend nothing happened by whistling away, blowing kisses and cocking his head. It’s no use Iggy, I saw what you were doing to that perch.
My birdy, ladies and gentlemens, is a sex fiend.